Today, at exactly 12 in the afternoon will be the interment of our beloved Executive Minister Bro. Eraño G. Manalo. As I watched his interment on television right now, it made me cry as if someone very close to me passed away. He may not known me personally but still, I felt his love and care in each of us.

Last week, someone texted me that Ka Erdy passed away and I couldn't believe. Or at least it's hard to accept the merefact that he had already gone. I kept on laughing at school with my friends but still, I felt the hurt inside. I texted my mom without knowing that she already heard the news. She forgot to texted me, even my sister. As I went home, I have watched on the internet on how Ka Bienvenido Santiago proclaimed the news and then, I started crying.

I have not seen him personally when he was alive. I dreamed of holding his hand, patting my head and to attend church with him as the officiating minister. I thought it will still happen. I thought it's not yet the time for him. It's hard to seeing him as my first time - with him lying on the casket. That was the first and last time but still I' am grateful. I cried a lot, really. I keep on saying to myself that God has a great purpose for this.

I would not regret the long waited hours I've spent just to see him for a second. All I can say is, Thank you. Thank you for administering and caring our God's church and even all of us for the sake of our soul. I feel so blessed and proud that I' am a member of Iglesia ni Cristo. We may not see his presence but his teachings will be forever in our hearts. He may not seen me nor I may not hold his hand but I know someday, it will happen. We miss you and we will gonna miss you. I know we will meet, soon. :)

As I often see this someone at a particular place where I usually go, it kept on confusing me that something in that person has changed. That person used to be my friend or at least an acquiantance. I've been thinking that for the past few days. I'll just missed everything from how we started as "friends". Okay, that was enough.

Another thing that I have encountered was during my Lola's wake. My Dad didn't get any chance to see his mother's funeral because he's in abroad. However, I know he was hurt. As I visit my Lola - together with my Mom, younger sister and my Mom's side relatives, it seems that the people there were so cold as we arrived. I thought I' am the only one who felt that strange feeling. It seems odd and uncomfortable. The treatment we were expecting that time was so unexpected. It's hard not to see my Lola's funeral. I was hurt when I saw my Lola fighting for cancer and for not remembering us during her sickness.

We don't have any communication at all. I' am not angry with them nor jealous whenever they were having their "reunion". I' am still thankful that I have a much better tita's, tito's and cousins on my mom's side relatives. They can make me laugh as always, give parental advice and treat each other like friends. And I think that's what family is for. :)

Changing has a matter of choices. It's either you want to be likable to everyone or you want to improve yourself. You have so many choices to choose from but what's important is you change for the better. And I know that everybody has something in themselves that they can actually be proud of. Just learn how to give out what nice person you are and it will come to you as well the nice-est personality you've been expecting to get from other people. :)